Love me or Hate me

121205

2005-12-11T18:54:00.000-08:00

it begins to become grey at a far away place on the ocean plane
How can sadness be tranquil and pure white?
On my face
Still holding
A bit of shallow helplessness

You use lip language to say you have to leave
That sadness slows down without a sound
The turbulent tide
You understand when hearing
It’s not the wave but the sea of tears

Turn around and leave
(You have words you cannot say out)
Can’t say break up
The sea crow and fish love each other
It was only an accident
Our love
(The love given out)
Difference existing all along
(Cannot come back)
The dust in the wind
(Waiting)
Unexpectedly accumulates into hurt

Turn around and leave
The sky blue Coral Sea
Missing the momentary paleness
At the time you and I
(You and I both)
Were not mature and honest enough
(Shouldn’t)
The passion is not there anymore
(Your)
Smile cannot be forced
Love is deeply buried in the Coral Sea.

How can the devastated sand carving be rebuilt?
How can love that has cracks be covered up?
It was only that everything
Ended too fast
You say you cant set your mind to rest

What expectation is hidden in the shell?
(Waiting for the flower to blossom)
We both already have no mood to guess
Facing the sea wind
The salty love
I cant taste what future there still is

091105

2005-11-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

I hope you are doing fine out there without me
Cause Im not doing so good without you
The things I thought you would never know about me
were the things i guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
And this I only see the truth through all this fear living without you
And anything I have in this world
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
I cant take another day without you
Cause baby,
I could never make it on my own
've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
Im sorry I cant always find the words to say
When anything Ive ever known gets swept away
Cause I dont go a lot
And everything I have in this world
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
And every day alone I see
Some is standing still for me
And you are not here
Im sorry I cant always find the words to say
When anything
Ive ever known gets swept away
Cause I dont go a lot
And everything I have in this world
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

081105(2)

2005-11-08T14:21:00.000-08:00

Girl I know we had some good times
Its sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you,
I cant deny
I cant say we didnt try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much
but its best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I will walk away
so you dont have to see me cry
Its killing me so,
why dont you go

So why dont you go your way
And I will go mine
Live your life,
and I will live mine
Baby you will do well,
and I will be fine
Cause we are better off,
separated

081105

2005-11-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

Andai ..
Harusku melangkah pergi..
Dengan..
Hati memendam rasa sangsi..
Bukan..
Kemahuan jiwaku..
Kerna..
Hancur hati ini.. *
Sayang..
Tika kau menyepi..
Tinggal diriku sendiri..
Gelas-gelas kaca ..
Jatuh berderaian..
Menemani diriku tiada akhirnya..
Tiada tempat ku mengadu rasa
Bagimu telah lama ku redha
Masih tersimpan harapanku
Membina mahligai syahdu
Segala keraguan ku
lelahkan janji dusta jadi coretan cinta
Kini kuteruskan langkahku
Membina kehidupan baru
Sayang..
Tika kau menyepi..
Akhirnya..

061105

2005-11-06T12:05:00.000-08:00

phew, my first entry for the month. what shall i say? new month new problems and new challenges. thats always the case for me.

having my cup of coffee right now and finding some thoughts to what i should write. everything have been going little challenging in my life right now. at work and of course personally as well. for work, i guess i just need alot more time to adapt to my new store manager. i hope i will adapt to him soon coz really, its tough working with people that you just cant seems to get along. and i dont wanna drag myself to work, i wanna come with ease in me. nothing else.. got to set up the christmas retail later, long day i can foresee but i guess its going to be worth it. have already start skuing the itemz, all i need is just to reaarange them. ok enough about work..

too many challenging obstacles are getting through us once again. can we pull it through?

161005

2005-10-16T16:16:00.000-07:00

im brainwashed by own thoughts. this stupid devil in me kept putting shit into my brain that

practically cant function properly. i cant move, i cant breathe, i feel like killing everyone around me

coz everybody irritatez me. dont ask me why im like this, coz i dont know and i dont know whats the

caused of all this. i need to be alone, alone to kill all my thoughts, when im back, its either for the

better or for the worse..

when i usually reach at this stage of time, its not going to be good! just freaking help me... if you can!

101005 (2)

2005-10-10T12:15:00.000-07:00

we have reached that point in time where everything is going wrong. the laughter and all those times that we always spend is lessening and lead us another way. we mistook all this, thinking maybe its just not love? maybe we are simply sick and tired of each other? maybe we shouldnt even be in the first place? or maybe its just time for us to be apart? but what ever reasons thats stated, i still couldnt find the clue on why ur still intact in me. i miss you alot, i miss us like before. i miss those times when everything we did were all so fine. nothing can start us to fire. nothing can stop us from having that smirk on our face. even a short period of time can make our day. everything is so different now. and im tryiing to find ways to be back on the same track again. are u willing, to go through in finding our ways again?
what ever you do love, nothing can stop me for feeling for you.

i love you..

101005

2005-10-10T12:06:00.000-07:00

phew crazy week this have been. but managed to pull it through. work have been fine, management movement is happening right now. looks like i have yet to adapt to shareen yet and she has to go to another place yeah. but what ever it is, you have been great. thanks for your patience.

i was trapped in the life 2 days ago! its not nice at all. goodness, if anyone out there is afraid of darknezz. pls say some prayers before getting in yeah. it sucked! its freaky, so afraid that i will see something or someone staring right straight at me.

041005 (2)

2005-10-04T12:44:00.000-07:00

im in a fcuking cranky moodzz! gdness..

041005

2005-10-03T12:30:00.000-07:00

what a day to start. waking up from a brand new day and within split secz, ur brand new day is ruined. thats just the way it is dont you think.

its been too long since ive last updatted this blog of mine. thinking of just shutting it down, i hardly had time for my computer nowadays. hardly at all.. anyway im still considering..

is it me or you or its us? its getting out of hand recently and its killing me internally. i hate the regulars squabblez we are having. its getting too much you understand?

021005 (2)

2005-10-02T16:40:00.000-07:00

for those maniacs out there. im still here not disappearing. merely working and trying to disappear from town for awhile. for people like rudy and pearle, thanx for still taking the time to drop by. we will hang out one day yeah. we have to plan what we wanna do. since u guys are so into campingz, i wouldnt mind giving it a try. and for munah and hid, it seemz that im always bumping to you guys where i go. which is gd. and munz, the trip to HRC suck ma. its the crowd munz, can we dun ever go there again. theres always devilz? and to hid, you are still the same. read your blog, u didnt turn up for work again? why like that!

life is pretty stressful right now, but im hanging in there.. take care!

021005

2005-10-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

its been too long. im loving you more and more every single day that passes by. nothing seems to be ripping us apart. im glad, tremendously! im pouring my whole entire heart to you, making you happy as long as you can be. u deserve to be happy love. we have gone through alot, and still going through rough periods. nothing else for me to say. im just and still treasuring my dayz with you.

p.s things may get slightly different now, please give me a chance to adapt to it. i love you for who you are and definately i will love you for what you love doing. mizz you!

170905

2005-09-17T13:33:00.000-07:00

its been too long since i last update my blog. sorry pearle, i have been busy lah. anyway what shall i say? everything seems to be going on fine for me.. working at a great place with crazy humans that always makes my day! so yah everything is fine..

Yanty: oi buddy i miss you alot lah. i really miss those times when all of us are always in groups.. what have u been doing buddy?

Siti n marina: u guys are back to disappearing again, i just have to wait for you guys to call..

Jaja: Devils, soon kay! when im no longer broke and when im free, will definately call you. month end is approaching. excited??

pearle n rudy: thanks for popping by the other day, didnt have much time to chat with you guys but i really hope that everything is fine yah. take care buddies!

and to you, seriously do u always have to get what u always want? sakit hati ah! muakzz..

070905

2005-09-07T01:21:00.000-07:00

its been awhile since i last update my blog. been really busy. well if you guys dont know, im no longer at liat towers anymore. im transferred to valley point. a total different environment and still learning to adapt to the huge changes. so far, everything have been going on well. im glad it is. as for now, i have been too tired to even log in once i reach home. for those friends that i have not been contacting for this short while, im sorry kay. Muakss

and to you, i miss you..

240805 (2)

2005-08-24T22:27:00.000-07:00

What Makes You Different!

you got something so real
You touched me so deep
See material things
Dont matter to me
So come as you are
You have got nothing to prove
You won me with all that you do
And I wanna take this chance to say to you

lYou dont know
how you touched my life
in so many ways
I just cant describe
You taught me what love is supposed to be
You saw the little things that makes you beautiful to me

240805

2005-08-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

i think im going crazy because of you baby, theres nothing that i can do to get you out of my mind. things between us have been going crazy lately but im still stuck on you. in fact, its growing even more as time goes. its four months already and theres not even anyone that can still replace you. what can i say. please stick with me till you stop loving me. what ever it takes for me to be by you, i will do it. lastly, you are still the one that i love, i care and the one that im thinking of all the time. muaks! happy four months anniversary.. so called..

210805 3.45pm

2005-08-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

work: everythings seems to be going on well right now. new environment and simply cant wait for the movement that im making this coming month end. im full of drive right now. all i wanna do is to make things right and setting a direction for me to move on to the next level. im giving myself a year to do so. lastly, all this wont happen without the support of my fellow friends. also to my store manager james, who never failed to show me the area that im heading.

friends: well, all of us are really busy with our own problems right now. things are different now especially as we are growing older. but nevertheless you guys are still in my thoughts.

Yanty: shes the one that always pushes me from the back. always there if i ever need her. for now, what ever ur going through. i just wanna let you know, i love you for who you are and not for what ur going through.. i will be here, always. i will still be your listening ear. trust me!

siti & marina: two people that always seem to make my day. i miss you guys so much. uyou guys have been great. marina thanks for being there all the time and siti thanks for cracking me up each and everytime we are out together. i miss your car, alot. alot of memories. sigh!

addynna: the one that understands me most. the one that have been with me all this while. thanks for all that. ur always there when i need you most. its been a great pleasure knowing not only you, but your family and friends as well.. will be missing all that..

love: this is the biggest word that i can never handle in my life. tried so many times to make things right but i never have the luck. what can i say? theres nothing else for me to think or talk about anymore. everything happens naturally. maybe its just right. for all those that ive hurt before and now its my retribution. love? i doubt i ever wanna love again. it hurt more than anything else in this world. i would rather be stab four times then to feel that internal pain. trust me.
i know deep down im in love with the right person, for sure. but this time around, i cant be loved at the same way.

210805

2005-08-21T04:14:00.000-07:00

We have been good friends for awhile girl
Cant stand to see you crying
Now another boy is leaving
He aint what you been needing
You are reaching to love in a distance
Wishing no one would come into your life
But I think I know what you are missing girl
Now I made up my mind to tell you tonight
I got it,
good love I got it,
tenderness I got it,
everything
You have been missing is a man
I got it,

*i have nothing else to say. depressing song that i accidently heard.

210805

2005-08-21T04:08:00.000-07:00

Something Inside Of Me

I call you up tonight
But girl we dont talk anymore
Sometimes I fantasize
That you would walk right through the door
When I wait you are not there
Still I know that you still care
Something inside of me
Tells me you want me
Tells me you need me baby
Something inside of me
Tells me you need me
Tells me you want me,
Babygirl how can I treat you right
When you let my heart
Just slip away
So come and do me right,
and I will be the sun that shines your way
I will be there for you,
baby,
now I know that this much is true baby
Something inside of me
Tells me you want me

Baby
I spend my nights reading letters from you,
going over and dawn in my mind
I give my heart just for one kiss from you,
cause I cant hide whats deep down inside

* i have tried so hard, to get you out of my mind. i still cant do it. still cant!

210805

2005-08-21T04:04:00.000-07:00

Say You will Stay

Tonight,
we are all alone tonight,
theres never been a moment that trembles like tonight.
I read ur eyes tonight,
I see a love I always known
From another time
That once again is mine,
I need to know are u real?
Do u feel the way I feel?
Could u love?
Like I love you say u can and say u do

Say you will stay,
Say your sure,
Say my heart was made for yours.
Let our love lead the way
Say you will stay

Is this moment really mine?
Could u love like I love you?
say u can and say u do

*i doubt you can..

170805

2005-08-17T14:52:00.000-07:00

...I miss you..

170805

2005-08-17T01:35:00.000-07:00

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
so I dont get hurt
Because of youI find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of youI
am afraid
I lose my way
And its not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know thats weakness in your eyes
Im forced to fake
A smile,
a laugh everyday of my life
My heart cant possibly break
When it wasnt even whole to start with!

Near u Always...

2005-08-13T01:24:00.001-07:00

Please dont say I love you, those words touch me much too deeply.

And they make my core tremble.

Dont think you realize the effect you have over me.

And please dont look at me like that, it just makes me want to make you near me always

And please dont kiss me so sweet, it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow.

And please dont touch me like that, it makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow.

And please dont come so close, it just makes me want to make you near me always.

Please dont send me flowers, they only whisper the sweet things you say.

Dont try to understand me, your hands already know too much anyway.

It just makes me want to make you near me always.

And when you look in my eyes, please know my heart is in your hands.

Its nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me.

So be gentle if you please cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth, baby.

And it makes me want to make you near me always.

Im missing u...a whole lot.

just feel like putting this up!

2005-08-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

You know you are everything to me
and I could never see
The two of us apart
And you know I give myself to you
and no matter what you do
I promise you my heart
Ive built my world around you and
I want you to know
I need you like
Ive never needed anyone before

I live my life for you
I wanna be by your side in everything that you do
And if theres only one thing you can believe is true
I live my life for you
I dedicate my life to you,
you know that I would die for you
But our love would last forever
And I will always be with you and there is nothing we cant do
As long as we are together
I just cant live without you and
I want you to know
I need you like
Ive never needed anyone before

just feel like putting this up! 240505

100805 part 2

2005-08-10T14:56:00.000-07:00

In this silence I love you.
And with this silence I give to you.
In spite of this silence I cherish you.
But still the silence I dont understand you.
Because of this silence I come to you
Embraced in silence I hold you.
I have never known such silence yet it speaks to me.
For with this silence I long to be.
Talk to me in silence.
Speak to me without words of understanding.
Let me not mistake this silence for neglect,
For your silence is love in your own way,
And in your own guarded heart.

two hearts 100805

2005-08-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

I still remember that brisk and cool day, that day we met and my fears were driven away. Your perfect smile, your joyous laugh, the way your eyes lits up when we talked about the past. We would sit and talk for hours on end about our secrets and our future plans. Our friendship started to grow much more. It became a feeling so strong we could not ignore. You told me, it would be for the best, just wait and see.

Fate! You said, has brought you to me. We believed those words, we thought they were true, but I guess they were not because now we are through. Now your gone and now I see that it was all because of me. I hurt so many, yet cared so much, i guess i just wasnt strong enough, those feelings I have are smothered inside of me. Someday soon I hope you will find a love that will last you all of time. You deserve the best in everything you do. Maybe someday I will see you, with a smile on your face, hand in hand with somebody new. Until that day comes I will be here, I will be your angel in the light thats so clear. I will look out for you when you need me the most, I will always be around, I will not let you down. I love you and I always will, and even though your not mine, my heart holds you still. on earth, For this is surely it..

020805

2005-08-02T12:40:00.000-07:00

im missing you love. missing you so much! when can i ever spend more time with you again? not

today of course! tom? maybe! but i cant help thinking of you. my hair is getting longer with those

thoughts of you.. Muakzz

290705(2)

2005-07-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

I would rather have bad times with you,
than good times with someone else,
I would rather be beside you in a storm,
than safe and warm by myself,
I would rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart,
I would rather have the one who holds
MY HEART...

290705

2005-07-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

LOVE...
Theres so many things I have to tell you,
but I'm afraid I don't know how,
Cause theres a possibility,
That you would look at me differently,
LOVE...
From the moment that I first spoke your name,
from then on I knew that by you being in my life,
things were destined to change...
Cause
LOVE
so many people use your name in vain
LOVE
those who had faith in you sometimes go astray and
LOVE
through all the ups and down,
and joys and hurts through better or worse,
I still will choose you first...

270705(2)

2005-07-27T13:31:00.000-07:00

ive screwed up tremendously in things that im doing right now. fcuking screwed up!

270705

2005-07-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

After love and fear,
theres pride
After tears, the night
After all the words are gone
A chair with just one light.
After memories, the dream
That you will come home safe
After sleep, another day
Of waiting for my life.
After hope,
the happiness
Of thinking of your love
After moments of despair,
A stone no thought can move.
After all the sacrifice,
The hunger and the pain,
The passions and the promises,
The losses and the gains,
Theres nothing but my love for you,
Which waits upon the wind
To bring you from the barricades
That now you must defend.

240705 (3)

2005-07-24T01:34:00.000-07:00

When you asked me why I loved you, I never answered. I could never find a way to tell you all the things that make you so wonderful. Nor could I tell you how beautiful you were those mornings, no matter how little makeup you had on I couldnt stop staring into your eyes. I could never tell you how when we held each other, I was the one that felt the safest. Nor could I say how I always took a deep breath of your hair just to smell last nights shampoo. I could never tell you how your heart that love me gave me so much warmth. So much warmth I could go to sleep knowing someone love and care about me. Nor could I tell you how your smile warmed my heart. And now i hope its not too late to tell you, its not too late to stare in your beautiful eyes the same way, or feel your arms wrapped around me. Its not too late to smell your sweet hair, or feel that same warmth in your smile. Now I toss and turn at night thinking of you and now my own heart is lonely and cold. I wish I let you know how wonderful you really are before im too late!

240705 (2)

2005-07-24T01:26:00.000-07:00

its been a long journey dont you think? such a short time but with many unexpected situations. im glad, so glad that we made it through. at least up till now we still do sustain a stable relationship or should i say friendship? so many things to say and i cant seem to jot it down. you changed my life love. you really did! i dont know how to thank you but what ever it is, im cherishing you now more then ever. i hope i can go through my whole life with you, even as friends. i want it to be that way for as long as it can be. i love you now and i believe i will love you even more later.

p.s right now, im missing you badly. badly then usual. i wonder why!

240705

2005-07-24T01:20:00.000-07:00

i have never experience such a lousy environment before. never in my life i felt i was doing the most stupidest thing ever.

well what ever it is especially to that person thats concern. its my life, seriously you have nothing to do with it. or should i say to be part of it. who ever im going out with is none of your fcuking concern. what ever im going to do outside is also none of your concern. judge me and say what ever you please, i dont freaking care. but please, before you even want to think about saying others. why dont think about yourself first. maybe its true that theres something about you that you ought to change. charm everyone you wish, but you will be the last in my list. i tried making situations to work out my friend. guess your ego was too huge to even try to make things work out yeah. well sad to say, you have lost a dear friend that you once cared so much for. so what happen now? you lost her? why is that so? maybe its because you are not sensible enough or should i say, hmph you are completely heartless to even try to understand her feelings? guess its not my problem now huh. serve you right and hell yeah, all the best to what even you are doing yeah..

p.s for the first time, i've lost respect to a human. guess wat, thats you! you fucking deserve it!

Truthness

2005-07-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

I took a moment to speak
You took a second smile
A little part of me will leave with you
A little bit of you will stay
An attraction between two people
Can happen suddenly
A lasting relationship takes time and patience
Should I ever find the comfort of love
In my short stay I learned to appreciate
Enough of lifes beauty
That this one short period will not leave me wanting
Life comes in the shape of opportunities
Which are easy to see
Once they have passed
It's not so much a matter of meeting the right person
As it is meeting them at the right time
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most
Saying something and wishing you didn't
Or saying nothing and wishing you did
Maybe someday I will be lucky enough to hold you in my arms
Rather than hold you in my mind
Maybe someday I will trade in my empty dreams
For the treasure of a lifetime of memories
And the cold of the world will be
Shattered by your warmth

my heart is in your hands

2005-07-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

I fell in love today
When you first appeared
My heart pounding in my ears
My tongue swallowed in my feet
Your eyes captivated me
Like a deer to headlights
Your smile could melt the snow
And bring the fallen back to life
My lungs are short of air
You speak so gently
And you knew right then and there
You had my heart in your hands

sad but true!

2005-07-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

My eyes filled with sorrow
my heart an empty place,
your touch, smile and beauty,
can only feel that space,
sometimes I think theres no reason to live another day,
then I think of you,and it leaves that thought a stray,
then in my mind you linger,
and again Im feeling sad,
I never had a clue,
being apart could hurt so bad,
my soul is already taken,
and you know it belongs to you
you are my life,
you are my love
my heart belongs to you.

fallen!

2005-07-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

You are the one that I think of, maybe because I have fallen in love. You are the one that makes me smile, I think I have known it for a while. You’re the one that brightens my day, you make my head turn your way. You are the one that makes me laugh, i wonder how long this feeling will last.You are the one that makes me forget my fear, because I know you're near.You are the one whose name I circle with a heart.
You are the only one I dream about!

the mirror!

2005-07-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

Every step she takes,
Im right behind her.
Every book she picks up,I read along with her.
Everything she goes through, I go through too.
Every day she lives, I live with her.
I copy her in every way. And why?
She is true to who she is,
And doesnt pretend to be someone else.
I like that about her.
But then I realize,
The whole time,
I was looking in a mirror.

The painter!

2005-07-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

If I would paint a picture
i would paint it just for you
I would use the deepest purple
and the brightest blue
I would paint our memories across the paper so we can remember later
I would paint the sky
I would paint your face
I would paint our secret special place
If I would paint a picture
and paint it just for you
I would paint our dreams and wishes
And wish them to come true

Questions!

2005-07-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

How should I tell you? What will you think? How will I know, what emotions it will bring? What will I feel? What will you feel? How will you answer? How will I react? I will never know…
Until I ask.

I love U

2005-07-05T03:42:00.000-07:00

alot of things have been happening and i have yet to search through my mind on what im going to do. i love you, that much that im losing myself completely. please help me, like what you said that you would walk through the journey with me. i need you to guide me, reassure me enough for me to trust that everything is going to be fine. i need your help this time! just this once!

i really cant imagine being away from you, i have said this many times already and i know that. i just cant help it!

p.s i had the most passionate night on the 040705. its still lingering in my head!

if u ever need me!

2005-06-24T14:51:00.000-07:00

If ever you need me,
I'll be right here,
To chase away the sadness,
And wipe away a tear.
If ever you need me,
I will be two steps behind,
To follow in your footsteps,
And hear whats on your mind.
If ever you need me,
You will never have to fear,
That your presence isnt important,
And your love isnt dear.
If ever you need me,
I will always be around,
To bring back the laughter,
Where deep in your heart its found.
You will never have to worry,
For I will always be here,
To chase away the sadness,
And wipe away a tear.

one last kiss

2005-06-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

I put the knife to my throat
As my life becomes a sinking boat
I can sense the end coming near
Yet Im so sad I cant shed a tear
I see the light beginning to fade
And I think to myself I should have prayed
I tell you now I dont know why I chose this
But do me a favor
and give the world one last kiss

LIFe

2005-06-24T14:40:00.000-07:00

When Im asleep
the place in my mind is so calm and loving,
didnt take long to find.
The peace of my hopes surrounds me with grace.
The light of your glory,
shines on my face.
The water is soothing,
I am so calm,
but now Im awake,
this place is all gone.
When I am awake,
this place in my heart is so cold and lonely
my world is so dark.
I run and run,
but cannot escape.
Im locked in this dungeon sealed with a gate.
The creatures within me so quickly stir.
I cannot control them,

tentang kita!

2005-06-23T14:29:00.000-07:00

Your song, have fun!

Intro: C G Am Em F C Am G (2x)

C G Am Em
Waktu terasa semakin berlalu
F C Am G
Tinggalkan cerita tentang kita
C G Am Em
Akan tiada lagi kini tawamu
F C Am G
Tuk hapuskan semua sepi di hati
C G Am Em
Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
F C Am G
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala
C G Am Em
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
F C Am G
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa
Int: C G Am Em F C Am G (2x)
C G Am Em
Teringat disaat kita tertawa bersama
F C Am G
Ceritakan semua tentang kita
C G Am Em
Ada cerita tentang aku dan dia
F C Am G
Dan kita bersama saat dulu kala
C G Am Em
Ada cerita tentang masa yang indah
F C Am G
Saat kita berduka saat kita tertawa

what would you do?

2005-06-23T14:21:00.000-07:00

What would you do if I died?
Would you sit here and cry?
Or run to him to 'pick up the pieces
Who would step in then?
To hold you when,
you feel like your lifes been eaten from the inside?
The Question that run though my mind is.
When he holds you at night,
will you lay there and think of me?

long live the road

2005-06-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

I dreamt that life,
so many a time,
Of haste and fear and pain.
I forgot that time,
when life was good,
when beauty...filled my eyes.
Cold and solid,
Like that stone,
I scream a fearsome sigh...
I feel no more,
I lost my soul,
And I am left here...
All to die.
Where have you gone?
And why would you leave?
My heart can not take this pain.
A long lasting fancy,
A long lasting fasting
Gone in abundance I see...
This earth will never last.
I make no more sense,
I have nothing left,
But these emotions that I breathe.
You see what it is..
.Born into conversion,
Scared and confusion...
I have nothing more to give.
This is not the end,
But I can't see ahead...
I am lost and never to return..

stuck in the yesterdays

2005-06-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

You plus me equals tomorrowMagical, mystical, musical
tomorrow joyful tomorrow
Beautiful tomorrow
Alive tomorrow
Is there ever a today?
Maybe tomorrow
If tomorrow is alive
If we are alive tomorrow
Does that mean today is dead?
Or that we are dead today?
Seeking tomorrow
Im seeking love today and tomorrow
I'm seeking you seeking me
What will I find?

life

2005-06-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

If life where the wind
We would travel the ocean
We would understand the seas
And every moment,
If life were the wind
We'd always be flying
Life would blow by without us knowing
Where would time go?
Would there be such a thing?
We would enjoy every moment
From a higher perspective...

missing u.

2005-06-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

So tell me sweetheart, can you tell that I miss you yet? Can you tell that I want to be with you without regret? So until I am with you again and feel your warmth to mine I will miss you and look forward to the time when we dine.

senses!

2005-06-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

i can hear the water ripples by the pool side,
i can hear noises beyond my imagination,
my sight could detect the smallest insect that passes by,
the stars suddenly seems so beautiful at night,
all you can do is stoned away,
food tasted the best,
you can feel every single bit on your tongue,
when u puff,
you can feel the smoke lingering down your throat,
burning, sizzling

love..

2005-06-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

you have stolen every piece of me. words can never describe what it is im feeling. you have

taken them all away, every single bits. i love you, thats the word that i can express what im

feeling. i need you more than anything. your warmth is the only one that im longing to hold. its

just you, be with me for as long as we can be. i will treasure it, not going leave it aside. coz you

are what i want and yeah, i am the luckiest human alive.

shoot my head

2005-06-09T00:58:00.000-07:00

please take a gun now and point it right straight. right straight on my head. burst it to million pieces, i dun wanna care anymore on how it feels. take my blood and splash it all over the wall, at least it leaves the stains there and i know it will leave a better impression.

for you who needs to move on, move on and dont turn back. ur time has past and im in control now. so be it that way. ur nice, to good to be true. but the fact remains, that one that you one held is mine now. be it that wae and simply get lost.

im not raging, im being nice this time. just clearing my mind. so if those who are thinking of asking me questions after reading this, please dont. coz you wont like what you are going to hear. get that clear.

what is life?

2005-06-07T01:00:00.000-07:00

What if life only lasted a day,
Do you think we would appreciate it better?
What if life was like hell,
Do you think we would dream?
About a life like we have now?
What if in life we had everything,
Do you think it would get boring?
Why want another life?
Your life is perfect already

Lost love

2005-06-07T00:57:00.000-07:00

Lost Love

My love for you is so passionate and true
I wish I could prove this to you
I will climb the highest mountain to touch the sky
And bring down that rainbow so high in the sky
Oh if I could prove to you that my love is real
I'd swim that river oh so wide to prove
That you are my joy and pride
And my love is so real
But all these things are so impossible for me to do
I cant climb a mountain oh so high and
Bring down that rainbow from the sky,
and no
I Cant swim that river that is oh so wide .
But to Prove my love is true and
I really want to be with you
is say I love you
and mean it with all my heart!

this for just for you

2005-06-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

A day without you is a day without air, without the chirping birds, without any cares.
A day without your smile is like a day without light. One that is dark, one you will make bright.
A day without your voice is a day without sound, one that is silent where no one is around.
If you have understood what I am trying to say. A day without you isn't a day at all.

This is specially dedicated to you and it marks the day that we din see each other. :(

2005-06-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

The warmth and joy that fills my heart. The love thats meant to be the greatest treasure of my life and thats what you are to me. I never dreamed one smile that could fill my world with warmth and light. Until your smile made all my days so beautiful and bright. I never realized someone could change my life so much until you shared your caring ways, your strength, and tender touch. I never thought that love could be this endless deep and true until the day I gave my heart and all my love to you.

when you play for me

2005-06-03T12:16:00.000-07:00

Your music whispers a smile
a laugh, a tear
Through your melody I feel your heart it screams so many emotions.
Some that I wish you didn't have to feel
I want to take away some of the stories that the ivory has to tell
Its almost as if i can see your life through your eyes when you play for me
Your heart pumps out victory
if just for a moment when you find beauty and meaning in the keys as if you are telling a story
In a foreign language
thats not so foreign to you and for a brief second your hands bring me near.
close enough to touch
but just far enough not to feel
You make me weak with your music
Because I know that its your escape from the world
You have xplained how your emotions pour out when you play
And that each time you learn more about yourself
And I know that one day our song might be over
Your chords and my melody might not mesh
And it saddens me
But I forget about everything
When you play for me

please dont make me scared

2005-06-01T17:04:00.000-07:00

love, you are making me scared when you are scared. please dont think so much about the feelings that you are having and salvage them into us. thats all that matters. it doesnt matter how long we are going to be, as long as we are happy. im happy and i want you to know that, what ever im getting right now is more then anything i could have ever asked for. like i said before, you are great and you are the most beautiful thing i have gotten so far. walk with me through this journey like how we used to talk about it before and i promise you that things will be even better with just a blink. trust me, i need you to do that. can you?

i need you too, as much as you do!

i do not noe wat to think!

2005-05-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

i really do not know what im suppose to feel right now, everything seems to be so messed up. im pissed and my mind is messing around with me as well. finally i have met up with someone whom i thought could really ease the pain and torture that im going through. but at the end of it, it doesnt help me at all. i even hurt him with those sarcasm naz words again. i cant talk, i cant express anything at this moment. dont ask me whats wrong and what im going to do about it coz the fact still remains, im still messed up. i know i really need help, but im sorry i guess none can help me at this moment. i shall stop throwing my tantrums around and be rational, i know thats what i need to do for now. to make myself feel better without wounding others as well. wait a minute, why should i care what the others who have been nailing me all this while feels when they dont even a shit to my feelings and my life? now im messed up again. fuck it. cant think, not going to think and i hope my mind stop werking for awhile.

i am nothing at all

2005-05-28T16:21:00.000-07:00

I want to run away. run to somewhere far. where nobody can get mad at me, where i cant mess up. i am looking for a room, an empty room. that is dark and has padded walls. so i can think and realize that i am nothing at all. i always say the wrong things at the wrong time. i get screamed at for not knowing. but it wasnt my fault. i know i am nothing at all. crying is my hobby looking at myself is my favorite thing to do. and making people hate me is my job. i stand in front of that mirror on my wall. realizing i am nothing at all.

and to you!

2005-05-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

What do I have to do?
I cant tell you use your brain
To see Im in pain
Agony in fact
Has deep impact
Crushing hopes dreams and ambitions
With no inhibitions
You could at least try
To stop shouting when I cry
To stop nagging when Im down
Or stop talking when I frown
Work with me
Not against me
Push me along
Not back to where Im from
Im trying so hard to pick myself up
But Im stuck
And you are not helping

fcuking moronzz

2005-05-28T16:13:00.000-07:00

fucking morons, all you guys think about is just about yrself! selfish brats, fucking humans. my future is on the line alright, do you even care a shit? why am i always the one thats suppose to understand what you guys are going through? why? just because you guys are just simply adults and im not? fuck it lah, im sick and tired of waiting and the last thing i want to do right now is to go against all of you people. please! before i resort to making my fucking own decisions, i hope u guys will do something about it.. let me say this once again, im sick and tired of all this crap and i cant take this shit any longer.. get me out of here!!

i wandered forever

2005-05-28T01:29:00.000-07:00

I wandered for what seemed forever
I searched all the lands
but I could not hope
no not ever
that I would find an oasis from which I could drink
such sweet water
nor taste fruit that gave so much pleasure

Mungkin nanti

2005-05-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

as much as i love that song. i have yet to find out the meaning to that song. as u know my malay suck so yah. haha. anyway i did had a great time. to you and our transparent friendship. i will see you soon again.

you are back again~

2005-05-25T14:21:00.000-07:00

as much as i missed those times we had, those thoughts of you are still haunting me. i have yet to find out why u made such a big impact on me. tears are about to flow out when im around you. cant figure it out. im glad we are friends now, but maybe its still too soon for me to accept your hand for this friendship. you are great, really! i just need a little more time. for now, i just hope that someone out there can really make u happy, give u the happiness that u really deserve. i will pray for that day to come. u are still one of my missing parts and i hope it willbe complete someday.

Im Back!

2005-05-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

i am in my comfort zone now, i cant seem to live a day without you. im falling deeper then i thought i can be. is this really an unsolved mystery that i have to look through you. i have known you enough, sometimes it just saddens me coz the feeling i have for you is to good to be true. my mind is flooded with you in the picture all the time. trust me, a day without you realy kills. maybe i have not shown enough on how i feel, but thats the way i am. just that way. im enjoying this journey but what ever happens in the future, promise me that u will still be here with me. u are something unexpected that happens to walk in my life without any hassle, be that way please for as long as i live. i said this before, im falling for you and i still mean that.

if theres ever a time u need to hurt me coz u have to, please do. be completely honest with me, i can take it better then living in a world with a complete lies!

Untitled

2005-05-24T14:07:00.000-07:00

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I cant remember howI can’t remember whyIm lying here tonight
And I cant stand the pain
And I cant make it go away
I cant stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Ive got no where to run
The night goes on
As Im fading away
Im sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybodys screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
Im slipping off the edge
Im hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

drifting!

2005-05-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect
I often wonder if I'm truly worth
what I've been blessed.
I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.
You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong
Yet when I am alone,
I question just where I belong.
I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize,
investigate my life I will confess.
For somewhere deeper,
there must be some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.
Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?
It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.
I struggle to bring clarity to what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion always fades before my stare.
It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze
,Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.
Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know just what we have in store?
Each incident,
each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end,
will I find truth
Or will I be perplexed?
Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me my meaning over time?
Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this,
my wrinkled brow.

can u see it in my eyes?

2005-05-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

You dont know how Im feeling.
I have yet to vocalize
Desire deep inside me.
Can you see it in my eyes?

I tremble when Im near you
Heat travels up my thighs
and I want you with an urgency
That I just cant describe.

Dare I reach out to touch you?
Do you think you would realize
How much I want and need you?
Can you see it in my eyes?

I long to say, "I love you,"
But am scared of your reply.
Terrified like a child
I've become paralyzed.

The camouflaged emotions
Lead to pain and silent cries.
And yet I just cant tell you.
Don't you see it in my eyes?

Confessing through this poem
My dilemma summarized.
The feelings quite cathartic,
But will lead to my demise.

Nothing interest me now!

2005-05-19T18:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing else interest me right now except for FIFA Street and CM5. This is what i have been doing, smashing my games in my hot seat. Gutz out for now.. Im not interested in blogging anymore.. Goodbyezz

thinking of you

2005-05-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

I just called to say
Im thinking of you
Not her.
When I lie awake in bed
I'm thinking of you.
When I dream in the middle of the night
Im thinking of you.
When I awake in the morning
I'm thinking of you
And the day I will stop thinking of you
Is the day I die
And when I'm thinking of youI
'm not thinking of her.

u are better then then the rest

2005-05-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

All hes left you,
is confusion and emptiness.
I don't understand why things went wrong,
when I tried my very best.
I know that some things happened,
and I may have failed my test.
But just know that you'll always be more special than the rest.

2005-05-17T15:48:00.000-07:00

I am scared. I wouldn't care to admit it, but I am. I am scared like a wounded wild bowin the black jungle with a deep wound! Hiding the painful soul behind a branch!!While my pain rampage around, fighting against me, I am scared to be wounded again! I am scared to be hurt again! Nobody can find me? Well! I am hiding behind a branch! When the sun rise,When I see the blue sky, I come out slowly,because eventhough I have a weeping heart, I have to walk away with a brave face and while walking I think aloud, how can I know a caring heart and honest eyes?I never knew the world to be so wicked and cruel. I am scared, I am scared to trust again!

So close but so far away

2005-05-17T15:25:00.000-07:00

So close but so far away. Never wanted this anyway. If yesterday brings a better tomorrow, Im never gonna see today. My heart is broken, my scars split open. So this knife will be my god, and take me from this world, take me from this world, take me from this pain, take me by the hand and make it go away. Im leaving home and if I never return, you don't have to remember me!

Missing ribz u never fail to cut me deep! Thanx..

guardian angel

2005-05-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

I have fallen, Gone so low. You pushed me over the edge, I started falling towards hell. I could feel the heat of the flames on my bare flesh. My screams were drowned out by the scorching flames. There was a bright light ,a cool wind from the flapping of wings. My Guardian Angels had heard my cries, felt my pain. They took me in their arms are carried me away, out of Hell. To be with them in Heaven. Forever.

match against myself

2005-05-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

Thought this would get bette. But it only seems to worsen as the days pass. My happiness has deceased, I knew it wouldnt last. The anger has built up inside, Im ready to break loose. I wont be able to take much more of this abuse. My bodys twitching, mind gone blank. Im outraged by all the pain that I've gone through. I've put up a front with nowhere to run to. Eyes as red as blood, mascara down my face. Im gone, discharged from this place. My brain has decomposed from all this mess. Some people just werent meant to be happy I guess. I feel like theres been a match against myself. Im thinking about people, while they're thinking about wealth. Im the victim at fault for all this hell. Yet, no ones sensitive to it, they don't know me that well.

The mask within me

2005-05-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

Surrounded by unknowns, they cannot see my face. Beneath my covers, I hide my inner secrets. No one knows who I am. I do not wish to reveal it. The true self which lies within, can never face the world. For I have so much to hide. And so little trust in you. My mind tired of running around. I need a break, a long endless break!

this feeling

2005-05-15T16:46:00.000-07:00

This Feeling

I have never had a love,
That lasted long,
Or a heart,
That felt so strong.
When Im with you,
I melt away,
Never to see your love that day,
This feeling inside,
Growing stronger each day,
Just makes me want to,
Faint and fade away.

Being REal

2005-05-15T16:38:00.000-07:00

Being real
Its a deal that people want to see in me
A good meal wont choke them to death
It put them in a fabulous mood
It was not hard to come by
The fake don’t belong in me
It was a piece of cake to recognize
Happiness and love control me
Not money, people or this world
Dove the rest (the fakes)
Because the best (the real) is here to stay
I would be happy in the long run
I wont be depress by being real

2005-05-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

Existence is dreary.I find myself weary of constantly giving.The effort of living
I wish I would not. That my breathing would stop. And mostly that I would hurry up and die. Just fall dead in my tracks. But it seems I am trapped In this body, I'm stuck! And my God, does it suck! So all my days I spend, just wondering when no more days will begin. And all of it will finally ends..

all i ever wanted!!

2005-05-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

All I ever wanted is in you

Love, laughter,

a pillow for my fears.

I want to give and to be given to

So I might feel myself flow through the years

Alive in you,

the wonder of my tears.

The beginning of an end!

2005-05-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

my soul anchors to the deepths of the ocean to become a new beginning, reborn, a new love my eyes are weak, but I may see... I see you, but I no longer want to I feel you, it's more than I need.. you and I are the past it's long forgotten.. my new heart no longer holds the love for you it was the end and now is the beginning. I can and will let go.. the eyes of blue are now the eyes of death.. I hold myself from looking into you. I'll once soon forget about you, but everytime I try I faiI.. my soul arises, the hurt and pain will leave, and the thoughts of you...will never resurface again.

2005-05-12T14:34:00.000-07:00

Why is it That when we're alone
Nothing else matters
Just you and I?
Why is it that when we're together the world around me feels so perfect?
Why is it that when you hold me I never want to let you go?
Why is it that when you touch meI get goosebumps and my heart beats fast?
Why is it when you kiss me my body longs for more?
Why is it that when you look at me my heart goes pitter patter?
Why is it that when I'm around you
I get this strange feeling deep within my heart?
A feeling that can ache so bad
A feeling that can make me so sad
A feeling that can lift me up and let me fly
Why is it that you mean so much to me?
Why? Why?
Why can't I think about you without wanting to be with you there together?
Why is it that things are so different,
so unreal when we are alone?
I'm so confused
Why is it that when we're alone we can go anywhere,
be anything, do anything?
Why can't this always be true?
I have a feeling that you love me as much as i love you.
I have a feeling that you are missing me as I am missing you
I have a feeling we'd be great together if given another chance
I have a feeling that true love never dies
No need to ask why
Just decide
Please answer this question

2005-05-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

I thought we'd just be friends,
the first time I saw you.
I didn't trust myself to love again,
and at first I didn't have a clue.
But as the days went by,
and I knew more of you,
I found myself,
looking forward to seeing you.
Your smile captured my heart,
being friendly and sincere.
Your 'tude made me realize,
I didn't have to shed a tear.
My broken heart,
torn from a past love,
was mended when I met you.
I know that you dont know,
that I'm falling for you.
But all of this,
I keep to myself,
afraid of what they'd say,
that I'm out of your league...
and to stay out of your way.
Hopefully you'll realize,
that this one girl is crushing on you,
that this one girl looks forward to seeing you,
that this one girl...
was just right there beside you

Raging

2005-05-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

Im raging with so much fire. Im breaking, everything inside me is cracking worst then a fire cracker. I need help. I cant take this anymore. I cant take all this shits thats been happening. Im always stuck in the same position. I cant understand, i cant understand you and i cant understand anyone anymore. I cant give in. I cant give up the one i care for someone else anymore. its enough, behind this mask is completely fake. I need to open this up, i need help. Can you be the one? I dont think anyone can save me this time. I gave what i could and now i have lost it all. Not once and not twice, this fucking so called heart of mine is disturbed. I may seem heartless but im not. You have dug that hole in me, now its wide open and yet its hurting. Love?? Fucking bullshit. Thats the most killing thing anyone in this world can accept. I cant live with the fact to kept on thinking that this is all retribution for me. Fuck it, its enough of retrtibution alright. If this is a punishment, i'd rather be in the six feet under. No one to disturb this precious heart of mine, no one to poke is anytime and go away. I hate this feeling im having. And if anyone out there think they can be the one to get me out of this misery, then im sorry. No one can. Im helpless, completely gone. Lost my mind, my faith and my patience.

What am i suppose to do now? i just do not know anymore. I dont know whats my plans going to be. Im so completely lost that i just couldnt fucking think. Get me those drugs, coz thats what i need. I really need that so badly that i wish my memory will all be erased! What a fuck up world to be in..

Saying i Love you in 100 languages

2005-05-06T14:41:00.000-07:00

Saying I Love You in 100 languages:

English - I love you
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Croatian - Volim te
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Filipino - Mahal kita
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Japanese - Aishiteru
Italian - Ti amo
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo

Career!

2005-05-06T14:33:00.000-07:00

Career? Im lost for a moment now. Not knowing whats in store for me the next couple of weeks. My unlce have been breaking his promises. Im jobless for now slacking my whole life through without doing anything meaningful at all. im feeling so aggitated and tired, tired of thinking whats going to happpen and whether i can make it one day. Of all things that can be happening to me, why this?

Im serioulsy feeling incomplete!

Just once

2005-05-06T02:09:00.000-07:00

Just once to
Hold you in my arms
Just once to
Kiss your sweet lips
Just once to
Taste your enticing body
Just once to
Have you look into my eyes with love
Just once to
Feel you being a part of me
Just once
And I would be complete

2005-05-05T14:40:00.000-07:00

Don't leave me know,
I've come so far ,
To hear your voice,
speak from your heart I hear you now,
you're standing beside me
Do you hear me calling It's to remind you,
if you find me falling
Hold me in your arms
Tell me that you want me
Whisper all the words,
That dreams are made of
Hold me in your arms
Tell me are we speaking of love.

The blood

2005-05-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

I showed no reactions when you gave me "that gift". As usual, Naz being naz who couldnt show much sense of appreciation. I swear i was feeling something,, i was so touched that i couldnt react. Maybe to you, theres not much meaning to that gift u gave. No stories behind the link. I appreciate your thoughts, i appreaciate your creativity and lastly i appreaciate the sacrifise you made. Weirdest gift on earth, but i'll promise that i'll bring it wherever i go.

Too manny incidents

2005-05-05T14:30:00.000-07:00

{ Part Two } So many things for me to say. Too many weird coincidences have been happening and im still wondering why. Im a very curious kid and im someone who needs to find reasons to things that happenned.
Yesterday was another incident. As usual we love driving around at night. Its like our pastime kinda thing and we decided to drive up to "Telok Blangah Hill". Well all the windows were wind down coz we were all like smoking. So the moment Siti turns in, I smelled sumthing. I smelled flowers. Didnt want to think much about it, i just thought its the smell of the morning dews. So as we trying to look for this platform where we can see this beautiful view of PSA, we got lost again. We kept driving and driving but we always end up to the same place. Ok, it was like what the hell until i saw theres this road. Leading to somewhere up there, its like a slop. I asked Siti to drive up, hoping that it will be the platform that we were looking for. Drove all the way and we reached to a point that says " No Parking, dead end". Siti had difficulties in U turning coz it was a three point turn. Then when she managed to do that, she suddenly sped away. I was like shocked and we reach to this road where we first came in, i told her to slow down coz she was like really going fast. When we got out, she stopped somewhere along the road and looked at the back of the car. I suspected something wasnt right but i was too scared to say anything. Siti said she saw something behind her car while she was doing the three point turn. That "thing" was directly behind Dorcas who was sitting at the center. Siti was really traumatised, she couldnt even drive properly. Everyone was like scared and thank God we have another driver to take over her place, which happens to be Doc.
So that was it, another incident. Dont know whether i will face another one today, i hope not.

wat a week!

2005-05-05T14:12:00.000-07:00

{ Part One } I dont know what kind of week it has been. Theres a few encounters that happens that i wonder whether its all coincidence or are they just signs that we should stay out of trouble. Very disturbing indeed! The first time that i have ever seen things that i shouldnt. Thats when we are drivng along the second link towards spore. My attention was alarmed when i saw this sign that says " Tempat Cuci Mayat ". I was like "what a name", then directly along the road, i didnt know why i looked up for and i saw that "lady" right there flapping her white cloth.. Trust me, it really scare the hell out of me. All i could say was just "oh shit". Siti and Marina obviously asked me what was going on, but i just couldnt say anything. I didnt know what to say and i wanna do is just to pretend to faint kinda thing. Sadly i cant lah. I couldnt sleep that night eventhough i tried not to think about it. I did say my prayers but the whole scene kept playing and messing around with my mind. Did we drove the wrong way? Should we just stay in the jam at the Johor Checkpoint? Was it the road that we are suppose to be at in the first place? Thats the questions that has been in my head..
Damn it, just when im typing this.. "Pulangkan" is playing on my i tunes.. what the hell!

A dreamer's dream

2005-05-04T14:05:00.000-07:00

"When you allow angels to be part of your life,
miracles truly happen.
"A loving angel came to me in dreams.
She showed me life's not always what it seems,
And brought me to a place where sweet dreams live.
She gave to me a gift that I now give,
A Dreamer's Dream.
She whispered,
"Take my hand and I will lead you through
A place where only sweet dreams can come true.
Close your eyes and open up your heart,
For then this flight of dreams so sweet can start
.Dream, Dreamer, Dream.
"She brought me through the darkness to the Light,
Where colors wrapped around me, such delight.
A patchwork quilt of beauty without seams,
Each color was a rainbow full of dreams.
Dreamer's Dreams.
She led me through a hallway of pure sound,
With doors flung open widely all around.
And from each room a song would gently play.
I wished with all my heart that I could stay,
In this Dreamer's Dream.
But we drifted in the fragrance of the breeze,
To savor all the flowers and the trees.
We tasted all of life that we could see,
And felt it flow as one in harmony.....
We Dreamed this Dreamer's Dream.
Then my angel turned her eyes to me and said,
"You're the Keeper of these Dreams inside your head.
Find sweet Dreamers,
who would Dream of Love and Light,
These Dreamswill lead them safely through the night.
Help these Dreamers Dream.
"And so I am the Keeper of this Dream,
it's true,
But I offer all my Dreams to each of you.
May their loving sweetness visit you each night
And fill your soul with Love and Warmth and Light.Dream, Dreamers, Dream!

Its been a pleasant days!

2005-05-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Thngs have been going on so well. Simple and pleasant like the way i have always wanted it to be. Been seeing alot of smiling faces and sometimes just to see someone's smile is just good enuff to make your day. For my side, i have been grinnning from ear to ear these days. Sense of security and my heart is finally at eased like the way that i have been wanting it to be. Not only love is the matter to all this, it might be. I dont know, if thats the reasons to it then all i can do is just smile. So this entry is mostly about me writing down my afternoon thoughts, writing down what i feel so please do excuse me yeah.. At least im not raging!
"This is e one" It's really been my pleasure getting to know you, especially knowing you deep within. Thanks for expressing..

Bloody Pissed!

2005-05-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

To that stupid moron out there. Bitch and spread stupid news about me for all i care. Trust me, what ever im doing is nothing compared to you lah. I know what i've done and i admit its my fucking mistakes. But at least, i admit to my mistakes and i dont waste my time bitching about others when i myself know that im not at the right state too. I was a heartless jerk lah k and i brought it all upon myself. You should too, look yourself in that pretty mirror of yours and see who the hell is that, tats mind fucking people's brain.. dont try to make people symphatise on you because of your sweet pretty face coz thats what u always do. I swear i have never hated anyone this much before, and i hope ur reading this... Mind your own fucking business and settle of your issues first. Oh yah lastly, just try to stick of your own lips and hands to yourself rather then lying on others. Coz u might just dirty them!
p/s oh yah, if you happen to date someone else, why dun u give me their number. In case i decide to steal them from you.. Fuck off!

Fall

2005-05-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

{ Smurf Is banging her head on the wall }
You were the question
I need an answer
You never know how scared I was
You would talk softly
You are a riddle
And I felt so innocent
standing in your eyes
So here me nowI'll scream out there
Can't figure out how you entered into my world
And I fall down
You are the vision
I'm always seeing.
And being alone right there with you
Left me satisfied
You're all I need in life

Are u hapy now!

2005-05-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

{ i just feel like putting this up }

now don't just walk away pretending everythings okay

and you don't care about me.

and i know it's just no use

when all your lies become your truths and i don't care

could you look me in the eyes

and tell me that your happy now

would you tell it to my face or have i been erased

are you happy now?

do you really have everything you want

you could never give something you ain't got

you can't run away from yourself

2005-04-30T01:35:00.000-07:00

No one else comes close to you
No one makes me feel the way you do
You're so special girl to me
And you'll always be eternally
Every time I hold you near
You always say the words I love to hear
Girl with just a touch you can do so much
No one else comes close
{ Nah, this is for you " Careless Whisper" so just shut up.. hahaha }